“Did America lose its motivation?” With this bold question, Ayelet Fishbach, a renowned expert on motivation and decision-making, opened her engaging and thought-provoking talk. Fishbach, a professor and award-winning researcher, shared a story that resonates deeply with many.

A friend confided in her, saying, “I feel like I’ve lost my motivation.”

But Fishbach quickly clarified: Motivation isn’t something you lose, because you never owned it to begin with.

Instead, motivation is a skill, a form of wisdom that can be learned, applied, and refined. Through groundbreaking research and relatable anecdotes, Fishbach offered actionable strategies to help us become wiser about motivation, achieve our goals, and reignite our drive.

Motivation: It’s Not About Strength, But Wisdom

Motivation is often misunderstood. Fishbach dismantled the myth that it’s like a muscle, some people are just naturally stronger than others. Instead, she explained, “Motivation isn’t about being strong; it’s about being wise.” To feel motivated, we either:

1. Change the situation

2. Change the way we think about the situation.

For example, yelling at yourself to exercise more rarely works. Fishbach’s solution? She got a puppy who loves long walks, changing the situation to make physical activity easier and more enjoyable. The science is clear: Motivation is not about willpower, it’s about knowledge.

Why Goals Fail

At the heart of motivation lies goal setting, but many goals fail for an unexpected reason: We don’t enjoy pursuing them. Fishbach shared a universal truth:

“Most goals are abandoned not because they’re unimportant, but because we want to be the person who has done it, not the person who is currently doing it.”

To stay motivated, goals must be intrinsically exciting. You need to care about the process as much as the outcome. Fishbach reminded us that enjoyment, more than importance, predicts whether we will stick with a goal.

The Middle Problem: Why Motivation Fades

Motivation is naturally highest at the start of a project and near the end, but it dips in the middle.

Fishbach called this “the middle problem.” During the middle phase, procrastination increases, and setbacks feel more discouraging.

Fishbach’s Solutions to Conquer the Middle Problem:

• Make Middles Shorter: Break long-term goals into smaller milestones. Monthly, weekly, or even daily goals make the finish line feel closer and more achievable.

• Remove Your Ego: Setbacks are inevitable. By detaching ego from failure, we can learn and improve. Fishbach’s son playfully called her a “failure expert” when she embraced mistakes in video games to master the challenge.

• Seek Temporary Discomfort: Growth requires discomfort. Fishbach’s research with Chicago’s Second City Improv Center showed that encouraging people to feel uncomfortable made them more daring and confident.

The Power of Support: Motivation as a Shared Journey

Fishbach emphasized the importance of relationships in sustaining motivation. “Your friends, family, and colleagues are your lighthouse,” she explained. Just as you rely on others for support, they rely on you.

To illustrate, Fishbach recounted the inspiring story of Marie and Pierre Curie. Their collaboration not only advanced the theory of radioactivity but also earned multiple Nobel Prizes. Their daughters continued the legacy, demonstrating how shared goals can elevate individuals and families to remarkable heights.

The lesson? Motivation thrives in community.

By encouraging others and allowing yourself to be supported, you multiply the impact of your efforts.

The Wrap

Fishbach’s talk offered a refreshing perspective grounded in science and human experience. To cultivate lasting motivation, we must:

• Set exciting, intrinsically motivated goals: Enjoy the process, not just the outcome.

• Conquer the middle problem: Shorten middles, remove ego, and embrace discomfort.

• Balance priorities wisely: Create harmony between goals, not chaos.

• Lean on others: Motivation is amplified through relationships.

Fishbach closed with an empowering reminder: Motivation isn’t about being strong, it’s about being wise. It’s about understanding yourself, your goals, and the strategies that keep you engaged.

So, the next time you feel unmotivated or overwhelmed, remember Fishbach’s words:

“You don’t lose motivation, you learn how to motivate yourself.”

With wisdom, balance, and support, we can all achieve our dreams, one goal at a time.