Dear Mike:
I’ve been out of work for a while and recently reconnected with a former colleague who mentioned a potential opportunity at their company. It wasn’t a full-time position, more of a short-term project they had scoped for a junior resource, maybe even an intern.
Still, I offered to help.
I said I’d be glad to take it on while continuing my broader job search, and I framed it as something I could do without much overhead.
In that first conversation, I also offered a specific rate that matched what the company had in mind. It felt appropriate for the scope and setup. My colleague then introduced me directly to the hiring manager, we had a productive conversation, and it looked like things were moving forward.
Then I started second-guessing.
After thinking more about the nature of the work and reflecting on my own experience level, I began to question whether I was undervaluing myself. I circled back to my original contact and asked to revisit the comp. The new rate I proposed was significantly higher, closer to what I’d expect in a full-time role, and it didn’t go over well. The response cooled, and I haven’t heard back since.
I feel like I may have overplayed my hand and possibly damaged the relationship.
Thanks,
Freda
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Hi Freda,
You’re right to pause and reflect. This one is more about trust than dollars.
Sounds like the opportunity came through someone who knows you and was trying to help. It was scoped as short-term, low-stakes work. You acknowledged that from the beginning and offered to step in with a clear rate that aligned with their expectations. That kind of posture, flexible, grounded, and collaborative, likely made your colleague feel confident introducing you directly to the hiring manager.
But when you circled back to change the compensation ask, the story shifted. What started as “happy to help” began to feel more like “here are my terms now.” That pivot, especially after the wheels were already in motion, can land the wrong way. It doesn’t just affect the opportunity. It reflects on the person who made the introduction.
To be clear, your value as a professional isn’t in question. But this role wasn’t about market compensation. It was about stepping into a lower-level, low-pressure project to re-engage while between jobs. You weren’t being undervalued. You were volunteering to play a different role for a season, on purpose.
Can you recover? Maybe.
If the opportunity has moved on, don’t try to revive it. But the relationship with your colleague still matters. Reach out. Thank them. Acknowledge that you may have misread the moment. Let them know you appreciate their trust and regret any awkwardness the shift may have caused.
And next time, before you say yes or quote a rate, ask yourself what your real goal is. If it’s income, lead with that. If it’s connection or momentum, then your posture needs to reflect that too. When your intent and your actions are aligned, you’ll avoid this kind of tension altogether.
Because here’s the truth. These small opportunities often lead to bigger ones. But not if trust breaks down along the way.
Action step: Be intentional about why you say yes. If the goal is to help, then help. If it’s to earn, then quote accordingly. Clear intent builds lasting credibility.
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TNCR Community – what advice would you add to this thread? Do you have a perspective that you can share? Have a career question for Mike? Email him directly at mike.burgett@burgateglobal.com
