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Mary Shankar: Why Change Is So Scary and How to Unlock Its Potential

Creating opportunities for growth.
TNCR Staff
Maya Shankar

Maya Shankar is a distinguished cognitive scientist and the creative force behind the award-winning podcast “A Slight Change of Plans,”. In addition to her podcasting success, Maya has significantly contributed to the application of behavioral science in public policy, having founded and led a governmental behavioral science team.

Maya’s life as a child was deeply intertwined with music, marked by rigorous training and dreams of becoming a concert violinist. Her aspirations seemed within reach, especially after being invited to study under the legendary Itzhak Perlman. However, at fifteen, a severe injury ended her musical career, leading her to an unexpected new path. Today, Maya explores the dynamics of personal change and adaptation as a cognitive scientist. Through her podcast she explores stories of profound personal transformation, offering insights that inspire resilience and adaptation.

In this video, Maya Shankar introduces three pivotal questions designed to help individuals navigate the uncertain terrain of life’s changes. These questions encourage deep introspection and aim to transform challenges into opportunities for growth. Each question is rooted in real-world examples and backed by psychological research, offering both practical and emotional support for anyone facing unexpected shifts in their life circumstances.

1. “How might this change what you’re capable of?”

This question encourages individuals to reassess their capabilities in light of new circumstances. Maya often illustrates this point with the story of Christine Ha, who became blind at 24 and later triumphed as the first blind contestant to win the TV show “MasterChef.” Christine’s journey highlights how our abilities can expand and evolve in ways we might not anticipate when faced with challenges. Maya uses this example to suggest that, often, our new capabilities only emerge when tested by adversity.

2. “How might this change what you value?”

Change can profoundly impact our values, often shifting what matters most to us. Maya discusses the transformation of values through the story of a science journalist, Florence, whose unexpected personal betrayal led her to rethink her approach to healing and happiness. Instead of seeking definitive solutions to her heartbreak, Florence learned to appreciate the beauty in uncertainty and the unknown. This shift in values led her to experience joy in places she had never expected, emphasizing that our values are not fixed but can evolve in response to our experiences.

3. “How might this change how you define yourself?”

The final question focuses on identity and self-definition. Maya shares her personal experience of losing her ability to play the violin, which had been a central part of her identity. This loss forced her to reconsider who she was beyond her musical talents. Through this introspection, she realized that her true passion was not tied to the violin itself but to the emotional connections and understanding she fostered through her music. This realization helped her redefine her identity around her core values rather than specific activities, allowing her to adapt and find fulfillment in new areas such as cognitive science and podcasting.

The Wrap

Maya’s personal and professional experiences highlight the adaptive nature of human beings. Her journey from a promising violinist to a leading voice in cognitive science shows that change, while challenging, brings opportunities for growth and new self-discoveries. Maya’s insights are a testament to the potential that lies in redefining our experiences and ourselves in the face of change, urging us to explore new possibilities and redefine what we are capable of achieving.

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